look at me
i know words
i can write
verbal turds

I was smoking a cigarette
when I heard the news.
I'm so sorry that you
were the only one by his side;
I'm so sorry that you
had to watch him die.

I can't believe how far you went away
when you said you were leaving for just a day:
it's stretched into years with nothing more to say.

Loneliness is a curse whether or not I want it to be.
Though I guess for you, my cruel darling,
a much worse fate would be returning to me.

When I go to sleep
I don't expect to wake up.
Maybe it's a good thing
that I sleep
because I wake up.

I always find myself alone.

Crowds gather, friends the same as foes,
then shatter
into twos, threes, fours, and one - me.
I'm at the center,
an ignored axis upon which no one turns his eyes
or on the rim - yes, usually on the rim -
a satellite that receives and sends no signal.

Alone I always find myself.

(from 1998)

The children laugh as they hack away,
The puppies’ throats opening, blood-red,
Pouring thick, wet onto cold, gray concrete.
Little screams and yelps mingle twisted
Against air aglow with after-fog’s clarity,
The Day’s sky smiling gold on echoes of Death.

There is no heart in heart-less souls ripped
Frying from burnt-out bodies beaten with forgotten ideals.
Will there be forgiveness or is such a thought
Just a thought conned from the minds of idols
Built with hands hopeless with a hope that will never exist?

One last crash of metallic flash, glinting steel
Shining beneath a crimson bed of dander,
And the children saunter off, teary-eyed,
A last drying drop suddenly glistening
With the heartening sight of another kennel just ahead.

I couldn’t look back
Because I’d never leave.
But I look forward
To seeing you again.
Next time, I’ll stay
And never let go.